So, my first midwife appointment went ok.
First off, she was lovely! Which really helps. Leo entertained himself well with the box of toys and the bag of mini cheddars i took for him. He had no idea what we were talking about thankfully.
I told her my history and then my sister's history which made me cry (again!!). She was very understanding and could see why I was so anxious about my blood pressure.
We went through all the usual stuff and she told me about my options of where to give birth (Exeter or Taunton - both over a 30 min drive away! Eek!)
I totally forgot to ask anything i wanted to. I was SO nervous. And she actually referred to me TWICE as an "anxious lady".
She looked up my blood tests on her computer and they all came back fine. Apparently my iron levels are very healthy which is good. The only minor thing was when they did my blood grouping test, it came back with a minor abonormailty thingy (didn't really understand but they said it was nothing to worry about and it just has to be repeated at 12 weeks).
She phoned up and booked my 12 week scan for 1st December. Then when I told her about my bleeding and how worried i am she said she would book me in for an early scan. She called up but they were closed so she is going to do it first thing in the morning. She said it's usually within a couple of days so i should get it for Wed or Thu. I'm really nervous but can't wait. I just want to know one way or another. The not knowing is killing me.
Keeping everything firmly crossed until then.
K. xxx
Monday 31 October 2011
.... 7+6
I know I haven't blogged for a while but its hard trying to find the time. I'm so busy in the daytimes and then in the evening i am so bloody tired my brain doesn't work at all.
Anyway, i have decided to steal 15 mins now to do a quick update.
So, we got back from our holiday on Friday evening. We went to Newquay for 5 days and it was FAB!! Ok, so yeah, it rained a lot. But we totally made the most of every day and we all had an absolute ball! Leo has a new found love for the 2p machine in the amusements. Many a happy hour spent feeding 2ps into machines. He loved the swimming pool on our campsite as it had a huge shallow area where he could easily stand up and build up his confidence. He actually managed to swim a little bit on his own (with his armbands on) and he is usually way too afraid to take his feet off of the floor if we aren't holding onto him. We had some lovely days out to Newquay Zoo and Paradise Park and on our very last day went to Padstow for the day which was really lovely. The weather was gorgeous and Leo loved splashing about in rock pools and digging up the sand on the beach.
Apart from getting quite tired i had a great time too and actually felt pretty good. I didn't have any morning sickness at all, and had only a few queasy moments.
Leo also LOVED the "disco" over at the campsite clubhouse, so we went every night. He adored having a little boogie on the dancefloor and i couldn't get over how well behaved he was there.
We booked this holiday through the Sun newspaper on their £9.50 deal. Like we do every year. And we were absolutely over the moon when we checked into our caravan to find that we had been given the highest spec caravan on the entire park!! It was amazing! The nicest caravan i have ever seen. It had proper double galzing, vcentral heating with proper radiators in every room, 2 huge lovely sofas, flat screen tv and dvd player, very comfortable beds, a 2 person shower, it was fab! It certainly made the holiday a lot more comfortable. I wanted to stay for longer.
The only thing i could complain about from the whole holiday was the amount of whinging Leo did! Good lord the boy can whinge!! It totally did my head in at times and i might have told him on more than one occassion "If you don't stop whinging we are going home!!". lol. His behaviour is pretty shocking at the moment actually, it seems that since he started pre-school he has become very hard work. I had to have several proper talks with him over the holiday.
Anyway, that was the ONLY thing i could complain about. It was the nicest holiday we have had with Leo to date.
So, back to me. Today Tony has gone back to work and this morning i have started bleeding again. Am feeling very worried. My symptoms seem to be dissapearing too. My boobs aren't sore anymore and i am nowhere near as sick as i was when i was pregnant with Leo. I am so worried!!
I have my 1st midwife appointment today at 3.20pm (thank god!) so will talk about it with her and will see if i can get an urgent scan for tomorrow when Leo is at pre-school. I just need to know everything is ok. I am worrying myself sick. i keep having visions of getting to the 12 week scan and them finding that there is no baby or that something is badly wrong. I'm just not sure I can wait another 4 weeks to find out.
I'm feeling in need of support right now and don't know who to turn to. My family and friends don't know i'm pregnant yet and i don't want to tell them until i know everything is ok. I would normally turn to my online friends but i'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about that at the moment. So i guess i'll have to talk to the Midwife this afternoon.
I'm really worried about having my blood pressure taken this afternoon too. What if it's still high? What will they do with me? Ugh! All this worrying wont help my blood pressure i know, but it's hard staying calm when you want everything to be ok SOOO badly!!!
K. xxx
Anyway, i have decided to steal 15 mins now to do a quick update.
So, we got back from our holiday on Friday evening. We went to Newquay for 5 days and it was FAB!! Ok, so yeah, it rained a lot. But we totally made the most of every day and we all had an absolute ball! Leo has a new found love for the 2p machine in the amusements. Many a happy hour spent feeding 2ps into machines. He loved the swimming pool on our campsite as it had a huge shallow area where he could easily stand up and build up his confidence. He actually managed to swim a little bit on his own (with his armbands on) and he is usually way too afraid to take his feet off of the floor if we aren't holding onto him. We had some lovely days out to Newquay Zoo and Paradise Park and on our very last day went to Padstow for the day which was really lovely. The weather was gorgeous and Leo loved splashing about in rock pools and digging up the sand on the beach.
Apart from getting quite tired i had a great time too and actually felt pretty good. I didn't have any morning sickness at all, and had only a few queasy moments.
Leo also LOVED the "disco" over at the campsite clubhouse, so we went every night. He adored having a little boogie on the dancefloor and i couldn't get over how well behaved he was there.
We booked this holiday through the Sun newspaper on their £9.50 deal. Like we do every year. And we were absolutely over the moon when we checked into our caravan to find that we had been given the highest spec caravan on the entire park!! It was amazing! The nicest caravan i have ever seen. It had proper double galzing, vcentral heating with proper radiators in every room, 2 huge lovely sofas, flat screen tv and dvd player, very comfortable beds, a 2 person shower, it was fab! It certainly made the holiday a lot more comfortable. I wanted to stay for longer.
The only thing i could complain about from the whole holiday was the amount of whinging Leo did! Good lord the boy can whinge!! It totally did my head in at times and i might have told him on more than one occassion "If you don't stop whinging we are going home!!". lol. His behaviour is pretty shocking at the moment actually, it seems that since he started pre-school he has become very hard work. I had to have several proper talks with him over the holiday.
Anyway, that was the ONLY thing i could complain about. It was the nicest holiday we have had with Leo to date.
So, back to me. Today Tony has gone back to work and this morning i have started bleeding again. Am feeling very worried. My symptoms seem to be dissapearing too. My boobs aren't sore anymore and i am nowhere near as sick as i was when i was pregnant with Leo. I am so worried!!
I have my 1st midwife appointment today at 3.20pm (thank god!) so will talk about it with her and will see if i can get an urgent scan for tomorrow when Leo is at pre-school. I just need to know everything is ok. I am worrying myself sick. i keep having visions of getting to the 12 week scan and them finding that there is no baby or that something is badly wrong. I'm just not sure I can wait another 4 weeks to find out.
I'm feeling in need of support right now and don't know who to turn to. My family and friends don't know i'm pregnant yet and i don't want to tell them until i know everything is ok. I would normally turn to my online friends but i'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about that at the moment. So i guess i'll have to talk to the Midwife this afternoon.
I'm really worried about having my blood pressure taken this afternoon too. What if it's still high? What will they do with me? Ugh! All this worrying wont help my blood pressure i know, but it's hard staying calm when you want everything to be ok SOOO badly!!!
K. xxx
Tuesday 18 October 2011
... 6 weeks today
Had a bit of a scary weekend. I had a small bleed on Saturday evening and had awful tummy pains too. I was trying not to panic as I experienced something very similar when pregnant with Leo. But it's hard. I want this baby so much and already feel like I have formed an attachment to it. Which is kinda crazy considering I didn't even know I was pregnant at 6 weeks last time.
Thankfully the bleeding wasn't very much and had eased off by the next morning. Today is Tuesday and I definitely still feel pregnant. I am having to wear a padded bra ALL the time as my boobs are so sensitive that every little knock and wobble hurts. (Not good when you have an active 3 year old!)
This morning I had my very 1st up-chuck experience of this pregnancy. Gross!! I felt totally rotten all morning and felt like I needed to be very still. Then when i got home there was a leaflet for a kebab shop take-away in my letter box and looking at the MINGING photo on the front just tipped me over the edge! Bleeuurrgghhh!!!
I'm finding it hard trying to explain to Leo to be careful with my tummy. I keep telling him "Mummy has a poorly tummy" and that he needs to be gentle with me. Hhmm... that kinda goes in one ear and out of the other. I'm being very careful not to talk baby stuff in front of him. I really don't want him to pick up on it and then go blurting something out in front of my Mum and Dad!
The Midwife finally called me back yesterday and I have my first appointment on Monday 31st at 3.20pm. Unfortunately it means I will have to take Leo with me, but will take a new magazine or something with me to keep him occupied and hopefully we won't understand too much of what is being said.
5 days until we go on holiday to Newquay!!! Wooooop!!! I am so looking forward to it. I don't even care if it pisses down all week, I just want to spend some time relaxing and having fun with my little family. We get to spend so little together these days, so it will be lovely!
I have made many lists already and have filled up all my little travel bottles with all the lotions and potions i will need. There is something about these rituals that I find SO exciting! lol
Anyway, thats all for now. Still feeling very positive about everything and am keeping my fingers tightly crossed that this little squishy sticks!!
Kay. xxx
Thankfully the bleeding wasn't very much and had eased off by the next morning. Today is Tuesday and I definitely still feel pregnant. I am having to wear a padded bra ALL the time as my boobs are so sensitive that every little knock and wobble hurts. (Not good when you have an active 3 year old!)
This morning I had my very 1st up-chuck experience of this pregnancy. Gross!! I felt totally rotten all morning and felt like I needed to be very still. Then when i got home there was a leaflet for a kebab shop take-away in my letter box and looking at the MINGING photo on the front just tipped me over the edge! Bleeuurrgghhh!!!
I'm finding it hard trying to explain to Leo to be careful with my tummy. I keep telling him "Mummy has a poorly tummy" and that he needs to be gentle with me. Hhmm... that kinda goes in one ear and out of the other. I'm being very careful not to talk baby stuff in front of him. I really don't want him to pick up on it and then go blurting something out in front of my Mum and Dad!
The Midwife finally called me back yesterday and I have my first appointment on Monday 31st at 3.20pm. Unfortunately it means I will have to take Leo with me, but will take a new magazine or something with me to keep him occupied and hopefully we won't understand too much of what is being said.
5 days until we go on holiday to Newquay!!! Wooooop!!! I am so looking forward to it. I don't even care if it pisses down all week, I just want to spend some time relaxing and having fun with my little family. We get to spend so little together these days, so it will be lovely!
I have made many lists already and have filled up all my little travel bottles with all the lotions and potions i will need. There is something about these rituals that I find SO exciting! lol
Anyway, thats all for now. Still feeling very positive about everything and am keeping my fingers tightly crossed that this little squishy sticks!!
Kay. xxx
Saturday 15 October 2011
... 5+4 and feeling positive.
Apologies for the miserable post last night. I was beyond tired and needed a good sleep.
Thankfully I got a good sleep last night. A full 9 hour sleep! I didn't even get up for a wee! lol. I woke up feeling refreshed and happy. I had one more pregnancy test in the drawer so i decided to do it this morning to hopefully reassure myself. I'm glad I did. It really did make me feel so much better. The line was SO strong. look:
Anyway, I got myself and Leo washed and dressed for the day and then went downstairs for breakfast. I made Leo his favourite - peanut butter on toast, and it looked so good i decided to have the same myself. I made 2 pieces of toast and a cup of tea, and wolfed the lot down. But then thought i was gonna puke the whole lot up again. Oops, I didn't though and thankfully the nausea faded as the morning went on.
I took Leo to the Odeon in Taunton to see Cars 2 (again), he is really into going to the cinema at the moment and i thought it would be a nice thing for him to do that wouldn't require me to use much energy! lol. I took him to McDonalds for lunch after the cinema, then we had a trip to Mothercare to look at new car seats for Leo. I had a sneaky little look at all the baby stuff while I was there. Moses baskets, cribs, bedding, teeny tiny baby clothes.... it was all so exciting!!! I even got excited looking at bottles and sterilisers! I know it's still early days, but I am allowing myself to get a bit excited now. I was so terrified the whole time I was pregnant with Leo and when I look back now, I really wish I could have enjoyed it a bit more. So I am trying to cherish every moment and just hope for the best. Once i get past that 12 week scan i will allow myself to buy things, but until then I feel like I might be jinxing it.
I spoke to hubby last night about the possibility of an early scan. He thinks I should go for it, but then he doesn't worry about money like i do, and to be totally honest i would rather put the money towards a 4d scan later in the pregnancy. I had one when pregnant with Leo and it was THE most AMAZING experience. Hhmmm .... it's tricky. I would love to have an early scan, it would make me feel SO much more at ease about everything..... but ....... oh I dunno!
Getting excited about our holiday to Newquay next week. It's long overdue and we all really need it. I can't wait!! I just hope I don't feel TOO terrible the whole time. Although, I guess having a 3 year old is a good excuse to go back to the caravan and have an early night.
Leo is being an absolute angel today! I love him so much. He never even had a tantrum when i refused to buy him any of the 10,000 'Cars' related toys and books he picked up in Mothercare. I treated him to a Bart Simpson gingerbread biscuit in Sainsburys and he looked like all his Christmases had come at once. Bless him!
I'm really hungry at the moment. I am trying to do the 'little and often' thing as it stops me feeling so sick. I bought myself some cinema style popcorn to eat tonight whilst watching the X Factor. ROCK and ROLL!!! ;)
Yep, today is a good day! :)
Thankfully I got a good sleep last night. A full 9 hour sleep! I didn't even get up for a wee! lol. I woke up feeling refreshed and happy. I had one more pregnancy test in the drawer so i decided to do it this morning to hopefully reassure myself. I'm glad I did. It really did make me feel so much better. The line was SO strong. look:
Anyway, I got myself and Leo washed and dressed for the day and then went downstairs for breakfast. I made Leo his favourite - peanut butter on toast, and it looked so good i decided to have the same myself. I made 2 pieces of toast and a cup of tea, and wolfed the lot down. But then thought i was gonna puke the whole lot up again. Oops, I didn't though and thankfully the nausea faded as the morning went on.
I took Leo to the Odeon in Taunton to see Cars 2 (again), he is really into going to the cinema at the moment and i thought it would be a nice thing for him to do that wouldn't require me to use much energy! lol. I took him to McDonalds for lunch after the cinema, then we had a trip to Mothercare to look at new car seats for Leo. I had a sneaky little look at all the baby stuff while I was there. Moses baskets, cribs, bedding, teeny tiny baby clothes.... it was all so exciting!!! I even got excited looking at bottles and sterilisers! I know it's still early days, but I am allowing myself to get a bit excited now. I was so terrified the whole time I was pregnant with Leo and when I look back now, I really wish I could have enjoyed it a bit more. So I am trying to cherish every moment and just hope for the best. Once i get past that 12 week scan i will allow myself to buy things, but until then I feel like I might be jinxing it.
I spoke to hubby last night about the possibility of an early scan. He thinks I should go for it, but then he doesn't worry about money like i do, and to be totally honest i would rather put the money towards a 4d scan later in the pregnancy. I had one when pregnant with Leo and it was THE most AMAZING experience. Hhmmm .... it's tricky. I would love to have an early scan, it would make me feel SO much more at ease about everything..... but ....... oh I dunno!
Getting excited about our holiday to Newquay next week. It's long overdue and we all really need it. I can't wait!! I just hope I don't feel TOO terrible the whole time. Although, I guess having a 3 year old is a good excuse to go back to the caravan and have an early night.
Leo is being an absolute angel today! I love him so much. He never even had a tantrum when i refused to buy him any of the 10,000 'Cars' related toys and books he picked up in Mothercare. I treated him to a Bart Simpson gingerbread biscuit in Sainsburys and he looked like all his Christmases had come at once. Bless him!
I'm really hungry at the moment. I am trying to do the 'little and often' thing as it stops me feeling so sick. I bought myself some cinema style popcorn to eat tonight whilst watching the X Factor. ROCK and ROLL!!! ;)
Yep, today is a good day! :)
Friday 14 October 2011
.... 5+3. Lots of moans and rambles!
Knackered!! Good lord, I haven't felt this knackered in ages. And the worst thing?? Not being able to moan about it!! lol. Well .... I can at home of course, so poor hubby is getting a right earful at the moment.
I had my blood tests at the Dr's this morning. What a bloody nightmare that was. I went in and Phlebotomist said to me "So, what tests are we doing today then?" and i was like "uuummm I dunno, you tell me!". Turns out the Dr I saw on Tuesday hadn't put in my notes what blood tests needed to be done, and I didn't know. I explained the story and she assumed it was just the normal pregnancy bloods that needed doing but then when I mentioned that I had been told to fast for 12 hours she then realised that it wasn't just normal pregnancy bloods.
I am a total nightmare to get blood from and it always has to come from my hand. Thankfully she didn't even try from my arm and went straight for the back of the hand, and got it on the second try. God, my hand is sore now though.
Am rather annoyed that after leaving a message on the Midwive's voicemail saying that i needed to make an urgent appointment, nobody has returned my call!! FFS! I'd pissed off at that even if it WASN'T urgent.
Gonna call again tomorrow I think, or perhaps I should wait until Monday.
My nausea seems to have faded a bit, which of course has made me panic. But i still have the tiredness and tender boobs, and I guess I just 'feel' pregnant so i'm trying not to get TOO worried. Can't believe i have 7 weeks to wait until my 12 weeks scan though, its' gonna feel like a lifetime away. I am so tempted to book in for a private early scan but £70 is a lot money really. And I guess it won't change anything.
Feeling anxious about the blood pressure thing. I keep getting very dizzy and am not sure if this is connected. Everything i bend down to pick something up (which I do about 1000 times a day!) i get a major head rush and sometimes feel like i'm gonna pass out. Guess I should mention that to the midwife when I see her.
Oh, I told my boss yesterday. I thought it was only fair to let her know what was going on, as i may well be taking time off for appointments and stuff now. Plus, I would probably tell her if I miscarry anyway. She was, as always, very supportive and said its fine if i need to swap hours around at work to allow for appointments etc. She was thrilled for me, but obviously understands that it's still early days.
It was nice to tell somebody though. Made it feel more ...... real! :)
Sorry for all the moans! Will try and be more positive tomorrow. Neeeed sleeeep....... zzzzzzzzzz
I had my blood tests at the Dr's this morning. What a bloody nightmare that was. I went in and Phlebotomist said to me "So, what tests are we doing today then?" and i was like "uuummm I dunno, you tell me!". Turns out the Dr I saw on Tuesday hadn't put in my notes what blood tests needed to be done, and I didn't know. I explained the story and she assumed it was just the normal pregnancy bloods that needed doing but then when I mentioned that I had been told to fast for 12 hours she then realised that it wasn't just normal pregnancy bloods.
I am a total nightmare to get blood from and it always has to come from my hand. Thankfully she didn't even try from my arm and went straight for the back of the hand, and got it on the second try. God, my hand is sore now though.
Am rather annoyed that after leaving a message on the Midwive's voicemail saying that i needed to make an urgent appointment, nobody has returned my call!! FFS! I'd pissed off at that even if it WASN'T urgent.
Gonna call again tomorrow I think, or perhaps I should wait until Monday.
My nausea seems to have faded a bit, which of course has made me panic. But i still have the tiredness and tender boobs, and I guess I just 'feel' pregnant so i'm trying not to get TOO worried. Can't believe i have 7 weeks to wait until my 12 weeks scan though, its' gonna feel like a lifetime away. I am so tempted to book in for a private early scan but £70 is a lot money really. And I guess it won't change anything.
Feeling anxious about the blood pressure thing. I keep getting very dizzy and am not sure if this is connected. Everything i bend down to pick something up (which I do about 1000 times a day!) i get a major head rush and sometimes feel like i'm gonna pass out. Guess I should mention that to the midwife when I see her.
Oh, I told my boss yesterday. I thought it was only fair to let her know what was going on, as i may well be taking time off for appointments and stuff now. Plus, I would probably tell her if I miscarry anyway. She was, as always, very supportive and said its fine if i need to swap hours around at work to allow for appointments etc. She was thrilled for me, but obviously understands that it's still early days.
It was nice to tell somebody though. Made it feel more ...... real! :)
Sorry for all the moans! Will try and be more positive tomorrow. Neeeed sleeeep....... zzzzzzzzzz
Tuesday 11 October 2011
...... 5 weeks today! But quite worried.....
So I went and saw the GP this morning to discuss my list of concerns. She was very understanding about the concerns around my sister's pre-eclampsia and the fact that I was admitted to hospital in late pregnancy with Leo due to pre-eclampsia symptoms. Due to this she said it would be a good idea to keep an eye on me throughout pregnancy and decided to take my blood pressure then and there.
This is where it all went a bit scary! My blood pressure was high. :( She told me to take a few deep breaths and try to relax. I tried REALLY hard to relax and breathe slowly. It made no difference, in fact the 2nd time it was higher. Then the 3rd time, it was higher again. I can't remember exact numbers but it was the bottom number that concerned her as it was in the 90s.
So I have been put in for urgent fasting blood tests at 8.40 on Friday morning. (Will have to make up some kind of excuse for work!) And I am to see my Midwife as soon as possible. I called them 3 times but no answer so have left a message to call me back.
*sigh* I really wasn't expecting this! I had a bit of high blood pressure in my pregnancy with Leo but I was quite a lot more overweight back then, and assumed it was due to that.
The Dr did tell me that it was fantastic I have lost so much weight and that it should really help my pregnancy. but it is obviously a concern that my BP is high.
Other than that she told me to carry on with the healthy eating and fitness as normal and I should be fine at work with the lifting and lugging stuff about as long as I am careful about my back. So it's business as usual ..... as much as possible.
Am feeling a bit sad and worried now! I was feeling quite positive about the pregnancy but this is a bit scary. I really expected to be so much healthier this time around.
Leo is at preschool today so after spending the morning in the Dr's surgery I am gonna relax on the sofa with my lunch and watch a crappy movie!
This is where it all went a bit scary! My blood pressure was high. :( She told me to take a few deep breaths and try to relax. I tried REALLY hard to relax and breathe slowly. It made no difference, in fact the 2nd time it was higher. Then the 3rd time, it was higher again. I can't remember exact numbers but it was the bottom number that concerned her as it was in the 90s.
So I have been put in for urgent fasting blood tests at 8.40 on Friday morning. (Will have to make up some kind of excuse for work!) And I am to see my Midwife as soon as possible. I called them 3 times but no answer so have left a message to call me back.
*sigh* I really wasn't expecting this! I had a bit of high blood pressure in my pregnancy with Leo but I was quite a lot more overweight back then, and assumed it was due to that.
The Dr did tell me that it was fantastic I have lost so much weight and that it should really help my pregnancy. but it is obviously a concern that my BP is high.
Other than that she told me to carry on with the healthy eating and fitness as normal and I should be fine at work with the lifting and lugging stuff about as long as I am careful about my back. So it's business as usual ..... as much as possible.
Am feeling a bit sad and worried now! I was feeling quite positive about the pregnancy but this is a bit scary. I really expected to be so much healthier this time around.
Leo is at preschool today so after spending the morning in the Dr's surgery I am gonna relax on the sofa with my lunch and watch a crappy movie!
Sunday 9 October 2011
.... Today was a good day!
... Today I decided to stay at home and "rest" with Leo. We did go over the park for an hour as Leo just doesn't 'do' staying in the house all day! But other than that we did lots of playing.
I feel better for having a bit of a rest. I didn't really have any nausea at all today which was good. (I had it all day yesterday and felt quite rough.) Hubby got home at 5.20 and I went and relaxed in the bath with a magazine for an hour. Bliss!!
Oh yeah, I did another test this morning. I couldn't help it! I fear this may become an addiction! LOL!
However, I was delighted to see a stronger line today! :)
Gonna take my little man out for the day tomorrow. Dunno where yet, will see what the weather decides to do. It may just be softplay. He loves it there, and I usually get just long enough to enjoy a cuppa and a sit down before I get dragged into the ball pit with him. Plus there is the added bonus that there is a Lidl right next to soft play. I'm so sad I know, but I LOVE Lidl, and we don't have one here.
It's still such early days but we have decided not to tell anyone until after the 12 week scan. Even though that is 7 or 8 weeks away i'm terrified! I'm so SO worried about telling my parents as i know that after what happened to my sister they are going to be very scared throughout my pregnancy. My Mum has already told me that she gets really anxious whenever she sees a pregnant lady as she just imagines things going wrong. I really don't want to add to her stress levels right now!
And then there is telling my sister. She is already devastated that she won't be able to have another child. She always imagined baby Frank having a brother or sister. So i feel like my announcing my pregnancy will be a bit of a kick in the teeth for her! PLUS i am going to be 8 months pregnant (!!!) when I am her maid of honour, which will not only be hideous for me (lol) but i really don't want to take ANY of the focus off of her on her big day. I guess i'll just have to deal with that when it happens.
I feel better for having a bit of a rest. I didn't really have any nausea at all today which was good. (I had it all day yesterday and felt quite rough.) Hubby got home at 5.20 and I went and relaxed in the bath with a magazine for an hour. Bliss!!
Oh yeah, I did another test this morning. I couldn't help it! I fear this may become an addiction! LOL!
However, I was delighted to see a stronger line today! :)
Gonna take my little man out for the day tomorrow. Dunno where yet, will see what the weather decides to do. It may just be softplay. He loves it there, and I usually get just long enough to enjoy a cuppa and a sit down before I get dragged into the ball pit with him. Plus there is the added bonus that there is a Lidl right next to soft play. I'm so sad I know, but I LOVE Lidl, and we don't have one here.
It's still such early days but we have decided not to tell anyone until after the 12 week scan. Even though that is 7 or 8 weeks away i'm terrified! I'm so SO worried about telling my parents as i know that after what happened to my sister they are going to be very scared throughout my pregnancy. My Mum has already told me that she gets really anxious whenever she sees a pregnant lady as she just imagines things going wrong. I really don't want to add to her stress levels right now!
And then there is telling my sister. She is already devastated that she won't be able to have another child. She always imagined baby Frank having a brother or sister. So i feel like my announcing my pregnancy will be a bit of a kick in the teeth for her! PLUS i am going to be 8 months pregnant (!!!) when I am her maid of honour, which will not only be hideous for me (lol) but i really don't want to take ANY of the focus off of her on her big day. I guess i'll just have to deal with that when it happens.
.... Friday 7th October
..... Wow! What a weird day yesterday! I had to go to work and pretend to be 'normal' all day long, when I wanted to run around like a loon. I didn't get much work done as I was in such a flap all day!
Felt a bit sick and dizzy but couldn't work out if it was the pregnancy or just nervous excitement!
I woke up this morning and decided to test again... just to make sure.
Yep, the line is still there. It's still faint, but it is there!!
I decided to make a Dr's appointment for Tuesday. This is the only day where Leo is at preschool and i'm not in work, so it had to be then. The Dr's receptionist was a bit 'off' with me and tried to tell me a Dr would call me back. Errr.... no! I want to see someone please!! Managed to get an appointment anyway. 10.40, but at a different surgery to my local one.
I have 4 main things to discuss:
1) My fears around what happened to my sister.
2) My work and what i need to be aware of with heavy lifting etc. Maybe some advice as to if i should confide in my boss or not.
3) My weight and fitness. I was still losing weight and working out up until i got my BFP. i want some advice as to what I should do now. I'm still overweight (although no longer obese! yay!) but obviously shouldn't lose weight in pregnancy. I just want to be healthy!
4) What to do next regarding midwife appointment etc.
Hubby is over the moon! He is trying not to get too excited incase the pregnancy doesn't work out. But he is delighted, I can tell! :)
Felt a bit sick and dizzy but couldn't work out if it was the pregnancy or just nervous excitement!
I woke up this morning and decided to test again... just to make sure.
Yep, the line is still there. It's still faint, but it is there!!
I decided to make a Dr's appointment for Tuesday. This is the only day where Leo is at preschool and i'm not in work, so it had to be then. The Dr's receptionist was a bit 'off' with me and tried to tell me a Dr would call me back. Errr.... no! I want to see someone please!! Managed to get an appointment anyway. 10.40, but at a different surgery to my local one.
I have 4 main things to discuss:
1) My fears around what happened to my sister.
2) My work and what i need to be aware of with heavy lifting etc. Maybe some advice as to if i should confide in my boss or not.
3) My weight and fitness. I was still losing weight and working out up until i got my BFP. i want some advice as to what I should do now. I'm still overweight (although no longer obese! yay!) but obviously shouldn't lose weight in pregnancy. I just want to be healthy!
4) What to do next regarding midwife appointment etc.
Hubby is over the moon! He is trying not to get too excited incase the pregnancy doesn't work out. But he is delighted, I can tell! :)
.....Thursday 6th October - BFP!!!
A couple of days before I should have got my period I began noticing changes in my body, some which pointed towards my period arriving (cramps in my tummy, spots on my face), others that could possibly be signs of early pregnancy (sore boobs, dizziness, slight nausea). I began driving myself mental trying to spot anything in my body that could point towards pregnancy. I told myself I would wait until Friday 7th to test, as I would then be 2 days late for my period. But on Wednesday night I had a shocking nights sleep. I was tossing and turning all night with nerves and excitement, and when I did sleep all I dreamt about was taking pregnancy tests! So on Thursday morning at 6.30am I decided I couldn't wait any longer, I was going to test. But I stayed in bed until 7am so that I didn't wake Leo up too early.
I took my little pregnancy test into the toilet and did what I needed to do and then sat and studied the test.
One minute passed ....... nothing.
Two minutes passed ...... nothing.
Three minutes passed ...... do I see a very faint line?? No, don't think so.
Four minutes passed ...... perhaps that IS a very faint line.... hhmmmm..
Go back into the bedroom and put the light on. Tell hubby "Don't get excited, I think it's negative, but actually there MIGHT be a very faint line. What do you think?". Hubby says "hhmm yeah, maybe".
I get back into bed and study it even more, the line gets a bit more prominent, but it try not to get too excited. it might be a duff test.
I take a photo of it and post it on the TTC forum I use. Everyone said it was definitely a line. I was not imagining it!
OMG .............. IT'S A BFP!!!!!!!
Total shock and amazement. How can this be happening??? Surely I can't possibly be that lucky? Can I???
I took my little pregnancy test into the toilet and did what I needed to do and then sat and studied the test.
One minute passed ....... nothing.
Two minutes passed ...... nothing.
Three minutes passed ...... do I see a very faint line?? No, don't think so.
Four minutes passed ...... perhaps that IS a very faint line.... hhmmmm..
Go back into the bedroom and put the light on. Tell hubby "Don't get excited, I think it's negative, but actually there MIGHT be a very faint line. What do you think?". Hubby says "hhmm yeah, maybe".
I get back into bed and study it even more, the line gets a bit more prominent, but it try not to get too excited. it might be a duff test.
I take a photo of it and post it on the TTC forum I use. Everyone said it was definitely a line. I was not imagining it!
OMG .............. IT'S A BFP!!!!!!!
Total shock and amazement. How can this be happening??? Surely I can't possibly be that lucky? Can I???
.... A little bit of background
... I have a beautiful, amazing little boy called Leo who is 3 years and 2 months old. He was conceived after 3 years of 'trying but not trying'. Basically I was diagnosed with a pretty bad case of PCOS back in 2004. In 2005 I married my husband and we both knew we wanted children one day so although we didn't feel financially "ready" we decided to just stop using contraception and see what happened. We kinda thought that it was very unlikely, but if it happened we would feel very blessed. I had 2 miscarriages along the way, both very early on, but it still hurt us both. However, it did mean we discovered that I could at least conceive, so I must be ovulating every now and then. In December 2007 I got the BFP I really wasn't expecting. It sounds daft but it really took me by surprise and I was shocked beyond belief. I only tested as I couldn't understand why I was throwing up in the toilets at work. So I then had the charming experience of taking a pregnancy test in the skanky toilet that was very rarely cleaned and was shared by about 60 staff (men and women). Ick! Anyway, I will never forget that moment, and who really cares where it happened. At that moment I just knew that it was different. I hadn't experienced the sickness when I was pregnant the previous 2 times. And the moment I got that BFP it suddenly dawned on me why i had been feeling so knackered all the time and why my boobs were so bloody sore! It all made sense!
Anyway, needless to say that that story ended well. On 1st August 2008 (4 days overdue) i gave birth to the most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on. And life has never been the same since.
I found the newborn stage quite difficult (like a lot of people) but it was mainly due to lack of sleep.. I really don't cope very well without a good nights sleep!!! We never knew if we would ever have another child. When Leo when teeny I think I was happy to leave it at the 1. I just wasn't sure I could cope with all the sleepless nights again. But as time went on we decided we would like another but that we would leave it a few years.
In an attempt to get my PCOS under control and to improve my chances of conceiving i embarked on a diet and fitness plan in January 2011. I have lost 4 stone 4lbs to date and feel SO much better for it.
In April 2011 we decided to begin TTC. We both expected it to take quite a while so thought "why not". We didn't conceive that month, but weren't surprised, we just though "on to the next month". However, in May my whole life was turned upside down when my sister suffered a huge stroke 5 weeks after the birth of her 1st baby due to Eclampsia complications. It was a hideous time and I decided to stop TTC right away. it was horrendously scary that somebody could be so unwell due to pregnancy. It's all such a blur but my sister was in Intensive Care for weeks, then was transferred to a stroke ward and then onto a rehab unit. She is now at home with her husband and gorgeous baby boy and is making amazing progress. She is so determined and strong, i have a HUGE amount of admiration for her. She is a total inspiration! She has a way to go before she is fully able to look after herself and her baby, but she will get there ...... i know she will!!
So, at the end of August r we came to the decision to begin TTC again. Leo turned 3 in August and we kind of felt that we didn't really want to wait any longer. I still had fears around what happened to my sister but I felt that I it was an extremely rare thing to happen and if anything it will just make me much more careful to get any pregnancy issues checked out.
I began tracking my periods on a 'Fertility Friend' iphone app and worked out when i would most likely be ovulating. I made sure we DTD on the most appropriate days and did a fair amount of research into how to improve our chances. I did a pregnancy test on 5th September and got a BFN. I wasn't surprised, i mean how likely would it be to get pregnant straight away?? And then the very next day i got my period. Gah!! But hey-ho, onto the next month....
Anyway, needless to say that that story ended well. On 1st August 2008 (4 days overdue) i gave birth to the most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on. And life has never been the same since.
I found the newborn stage quite difficult (like a lot of people) but it was mainly due to lack of sleep.. I really don't cope very well without a good nights sleep!!! We never knew if we would ever have another child. When Leo when teeny I think I was happy to leave it at the 1. I just wasn't sure I could cope with all the sleepless nights again. But as time went on we decided we would like another but that we would leave it a few years.
In an attempt to get my PCOS under control and to improve my chances of conceiving i embarked on a diet and fitness plan in January 2011. I have lost 4 stone 4lbs to date and feel SO much better for it.
In April 2011 we decided to begin TTC. We both expected it to take quite a while so thought "why not". We didn't conceive that month, but weren't surprised, we just though "on to the next month". However, in May my whole life was turned upside down when my sister suffered a huge stroke 5 weeks after the birth of her 1st baby due to Eclampsia complications. It was a hideous time and I decided to stop TTC right away. it was horrendously scary that somebody could be so unwell due to pregnancy. It's all such a blur but my sister was in Intensive Care for weeks, then was transferred to a stroke ward and then onto a rehab unit. She is now at home with her husband and gorgeous baby boy and is making amazing progress. She is so determined and strong, i have a HUGE amount of admiration for her. She is a total inspiration! She has a way to go before she is fully able to look after herself and her baby, but she will get there ...... i know she will!!
So, at the end of August r we came to the decision to begin TTC again. Leo turned 3 in August and we kind of felt that we didn't really want to wait any longer. I still had fears around what happened to my sister but I felt that I it was an extremely rare thing to happen and if anything it will just make me much more careful to get any pregnancy issues checked out.
I began tracking my periods on a 'Fertility Friend' iphone app and worked out when i would most likely be ovulating. I made sure we DTD on the most appropriate days and did a fair amount of research into how to improve our chances. I did a pregnancy test on 5th September and got a BFN. I wasn't surprised, i mean how likely would it be to get pregnant straight away?? And then the very next day i got my period. Gah!! But hey-ho, onto the next month....
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